


Leap

by AliWB



Category: The Office (US)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:15:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26935729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliWB/pseuds/AliWB
Summary: Jumping off from 2x09 Email Surveillance. Pam can't get Phyllis's comment out of her head.
Relationships: Pam Beesly/Jim Halpert
Comments: 3
Kudos: 52





	Leap

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this little fic in 2010 and don't think I ever posted it. I figured it deserved to see the light of day. :)

It’s not as though she knows a lot about relationships. She’s had exactly one. And she still has it. Not that that’s a bad thing. She’s been with Roy so long that she can finish his sentences. Knows that he likes to sit around in his towel for a while after he showers. And that he loves the crusty part of the meatloaf when Pam lets it cook too long. It’s almost comforting even, knowing another person’s every thought before they think it.

It’s pretty much always been this way between them. True, the relationship had a bit of a rough start when he accidentally left her in the bathroom of the arena at the Penguins game he’d suggested for their first date. But he came around and apologized and for a teenage boy he wasn’t such a bad kisser. By the time they’d been together for two months, she knew almost everything there was to know about Roy Anderson.

So she’s never imagined, in these nine years, that she’ll meet someone else. Sure, Roy’s not perfect. But he’s hers. And she’s his. Even has a ring on her finger to prove it. And when she leans conspiratorially in Phyllis’s direction and whispers, “Have you heard anything about any secret office romances?” she’s really not expecting the response she receives.

Phyllis smiles furtively. “You tell me. Well, you do mean you and Jim right?”

Pam pales, her smile immediately morphing into a look of confusion and embarrassment.

“Oh God,” the older woman says anxiously. “I am so sorry, I thought… you guys hang out all the time and you're talking all the time. I'm sorry!”

She tries to pull herself together and outwardly is minimally successful. “That's okay,” she assures her coworker. “It's okay.”

Still in shock, she sits down. Girls can be friends with guys without it meaning something. They’re not doing anything wrong. Phyllis just has the wrong idea. That’s all.

Jim sits down beside her, bumping his arm casually into hers. Pam jumps what feels like a mile in the air but manages to cover it by pretending to stretch her back. He asks about her side project, and she thinks about the way she’s seen Angela looking at Dwight when she thought no one was looking. Pam swallows nervously and tells him she gave it up. “Yeah,” she licks her lips. Smoothes the tip of her finger over the rim of her beer bottle. “It turns out I was, um, just grasping at straws.”

XXXXX

She tells herself that’s what her officemates have been doing too. Just seeing something where there’s nothing. Just friendship. Just a simple fun, easy friendship between two people, one of whom happens to be Jim and the other of whom happens to be Pam.

But there’s a secret little part of herself, one that she tries ruthlessly to crush, that whispers, _where there’s smoke, there’s fire._

And slowly, Pam’s eyes begin to open. They eat Thanksgiving with Roy’s family. Kenny has a new girlfriend and Pam is forced to make awkward small talk with her all afternoon because football is on and neither of their respective boyfriends can be dragged from the couch. His sister Diana comes and she hardly speaks two words to anyone. They are supposed to go to her parents’ house afterward for dessert. But Roy and Kenny are out back throwing a football around and Roy asks for “five more minutes” so many times that it’s almost nine when they finally leave. He says he’s tired and drives back to their apartment. Pam goes alone.

Her sister and mom are curled on the couch watching their first Christmas movie of the season, as is their yearly custom. And when Pam slides in beside them, neither even asks where her fiancé is. She realizes the same thing happened last Thanksgiving. And the one before.

When their office Christmas party arrives, Jim is her not so secret Santa; and he gives her a little blue teapot. He looks pretty disappointed when she trades it for an ipod during an impromptu white elephant session. After the final exchange of gifts, she finds Dwight and he lets her trade her gift for the teapot. The look on Jim’s face when he sees that she’s got it back makes her smile so wide her face hurts. When he shows her the little things he’s stashed inside, she knows she made the right decision.

Roy disagrees. “Why would you give up an ipod?” He asks, confused.

“This has sentimental value.” She takes the top off. “Look, Jim put in all this stuff—“

“Okay…” he interrupts. “But it was an ipod.”

Pam’s shoulders slump a little. “Well, you’re going to get me one for Christmas anyway, right?”

He shakes his head. “I guess I have to.”

That night, they climb in bed together and he reaches for her and whispers her name, “Pammy.” She’s tired, but he’s going to pout if they don’t do it, so it’s easier to go along with him. It’s over quickly and Roy almost immediately falls asleep. She feels frustrated and gets up to get a drink. Pam feels like she’s unraveling and she isn’t quite sure why. The little teapot sits on her kitchen counter, nestled next to her canisters. Gently, she lifts the top off and peers inside. Jim’s yearbook photo smiles up at her. She finishes her glass of water and realizes she feels better.

A week passes before she starts to seriously consider her situation. It’s been a pretty normal week. On Wednesday she makes a bet with Jim. He says she can’t convince Dwight that someone in their office is a spy sent from Staples corporate offices. She accepts this challenge and says if she wins he has to cook her dinner. He agrees. Jim doesn’t look that disappointed when Dwight outs Creed as the spy shortly after lunch. He just says to come by on Saturday, ready to eat.

She makes her decision that night then spends most of Thursday trying to gather enough courage to go through with it. On Friday she almost can’t go through with it. But she puts a platter of chicken down between them and then it just comes out.

Roy is stunned.

Pam cries. A lot. So hard she’s almost blubbering at times. But she knows this is the right decision. She can’t go through with marrying him. They haven’t set a date yet or made any of the plans. So this is the right time to end things.

She’s scared. Because she hasn’t been just Pam since she was still in high school. She’s been Roy’s girlfriend and then his fiancé. But she thinks she’s going to be okay.

She doesn’t go to Jim’s place with any intention of jumping into his arms. They’re friends. And he lost a bet and needs to pay up. But she dresses carefully all the same. When Jim swings open the door, she notices the way he checks her out. It feels good to acknowledge that to herself. He pulls her in for a loose hug and she squeezes him hard in response.

“Oh, okay,” he mumbles awkwardly, and she lets go. “So, come in.” He steps back and holds the door open. “Dinner’s almost ready.”

“I hope you cooked to my specifications,” she says.

Jim smiles, leading her back toward the kitchen. “Ah, yes, I think you requested… something worthy of a five star restaurant that must include cheese?”

Pam nods in agreement and laughs when Jim presents her with a grilled cheese sandwich and a glass of wine. “This is what you call five star?”

He scratches his head and shrugs. “Hey, the wine is worthy of a five star restaurant.” He shows her the bottle. It looks expensive.

“That’s cheating,” she accuses.

“That’s not cheating, Beesly. Next time make your demands more specific.”

Pam harrumphs as she follows his lead and sits at the small dining table. The grilled cheese is good, and he’s also made French fries. They talk through dinner but she’s admittedly distracted. She didn’t come here planning on telling Jim it was over with Roy. And she gets nervous and sweaty just thinking about making the first move and just telling Jim that she thinks she likes him. As more than a friend.

But he gets her so well that her distraction can’t fly under the radar. “Are you okay?” He asks, after dinner when they sit down on the couch next to each other.

“Sure,” she stammers. “I mean, I’m fine.”

“Okay,” he drawls, watching her as she flips through the book of DVDs he’s given her to choose from.

“Really.” She chooses one at random and handing it back.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes!” She says. “I’m sure.”

He frowns down at the DVD. “It’s just that I never really thought of you as a Death Train girl.”

“Oh,” Pam gets defensive. “I happen to love Death Train.”

“Do you?” He laughs. “You’re just full of surprises, Beesly.”

Jim starts the movie up and sits back down beside her. She watches his profile as he navigates through the disc menus. She’s always thought he was handsome. But now that she’s free to do whatever she wants, she drinks him in in a new light. She thinks about kissing him, trailing her mouth over the stubble starting to come in over his jaw, tucking her face in his neck. Running her fingers through his hair, holding his big, warm hands.

“Something happened with Roy,” she finds herself confessing.

He stifles a flinch, but now that she’s watching, she notices. “What happened?” Jim asks, turning to her in concern.

“It’s over,” she blurts.

To his credit, Jim immediately looks concerned. “I’m sorry, Pam,” he says sincerely, and lays his hand on hers.

Her heart beats faster as she grasps his hand back. “I did it. It was my decision.”

“Oh.” He’s surprised.

She looks up at him, her eyes starting to shine. Wills him to tell her he’s got feelings for her. She knows she was right to leave Roy either way. But all she can think is _please please please please, tell me._

“Are you okay?” Jim asks instead.

She looks down while she nods. Her lips start to quiver. He’s not going to say anything.

“Hey,” he says softly, noticing her crestfallen face, “it’s okay, Pam.” His hand leaves hers and then he’s wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer. “C’mere. It’s okay.”

She doesn’t even know why she’s starting to cry, but it doesn’t matter because Jim’s arms are folded around her. She’s gripping the front of his shirt in her fist and his face is tucked down against her hair.

“Jim,” she whispers as he soothingly rubs her back.

“Hmm?” He loosens his hold and looks down.

Pam tilts back to look up at him.

His eyes widen as their mouths hover scant millimeters apart. She’s going to kiss him but before she moves, Jim is leaning down and kissing her so, so gently.

She freezes for just a moment. She’s hardly kissed anyone other than her former fiancé. It’s _nice_. She brings her fingers up, strokes the softness of Jim’s cheeks, so different than Roy’s scratchy beard.

He pulls away. Too soon, she thinks. When she blinks back into awareness, Jim is looking at her wide-eyed and concerned. Like he expects her to flee at any moment.

“I’m sorry,” he offers immediately. “Pam, I’m sorry. I have horrible timing and I know that. I just…” He fumbles, looks away and then back at her. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long.”

His words hang there in the space between them. Pam swallows. She nods and then she’s pulling him back down to her, kissing him ferociously.

She surprises herself with how aggressively she attacks him. Jim lets her lead. She pushes his shoulders back so she can clamor into his lap, letting her knees settle around his hips. He tilts his chin up obliging to meet her mouth. Jim’s hands are hesitant as they grasp her waist, squeezing her sides softly. Raking her fingers through his already messy hair, she feels so far from Pam Beesly. Pam doesn’t initiate. She doesn’t climb on top of men and pull them against her _hard_ and make little excited moans when their teeth graze her bottom lip. She doesn’t have to do any of these things because Roy does them. With Roy she is a doll, a puppet moving when the same familiar strings are tugged at the whim of the puppeteer.

Now, in Jim’s tentative hold, she is evolving into something else. Her fingers are more eager. The muscles in her legs are quivering. Her breasts heave with each gasping breath. She lets her hands run over his shoulders and down his back, reveling in the shuddering of his body into her touch. She is in control. And so, so happy. She can tell Jim is, too. They can hardly kiss for smiling so hard.

“Pam,” he mumbles when she yanks the collar of his shirt to the side and latches onto his neck. His head rolls to the side, giving her unlimited access to where she wants to be. His hands slide under the back of her shirt, pressing into her spine. The pads of his fingers are rough and she arches her back when it tickles a little. Jim presses harder, pulling her closer to him and he’s bringing his mouth back to meet hers. Making her breath quicken from the things he’s doing with his tongue and his teeth. He holds her tighter and tighter against him.

Then Jim pushes backward on her hips. Her newfound confidence falters and she sits back, confused. Maybe she’s gone too far. Maybe Jim’s having second thoughts. Maybe her limited experience is more readily apparent than she thought. She blinks warily, taking in Jim’s rumpled shirt and flushed face.

“Sorry,” he says quietly. The way he looks at her makes her stomach clench. It’s the same look as earlier, like he’s afraid to make sudden movements around a skittish animal.

“Why?”

“You know.” Jim smiles ruefully. But she doesn’t. At least not until she casts her gaze downward and realizes he’s hard and pressing against his jeans.

“Oh,” she says, surprised. A lump forms in her throat when she realizes he’s pushed her back to keep her from feeling the effect this has had on him. She’s not prepared for this unexpected display of chivalry. (Her first experience involved finding her hand under Roy’s, suddenly on his unzipped fly while he panted into her neck).

Heat coils in her stomach, spreading throughout her chest and coloring her face. “You really don’t have to apologize for that,” she says teasingly.

“Oh,” Jim manages, laughing at himself. “Right.”

Pam takes a deep breath and makes a decision. Moving more slowly now, she slides forward in his lap. Jim’s breath comes out as a hiss as their bodies press together. A muffled “mmmph” escapes from his chest as she squeezes her legs around him. His hands slide up her back, dragging her shirt with them. She feels self conscious about her exposed stomach so she kisses him again. Jim’s hands pause like they forgot where they were going, then he’s moving again, tucking his fingertips around the clasp of her bra. They lay there for a moment, unmoving. Jim leans back as much as he can with her hovering above him.

“What?” Pam asks.

“Just… slow down for a second.” His hands come down her back and settle on her waist. “What are we doing?”

“We’re…” she starts, realizes she has no idea what to say.

His face crumples at her non response. He sighs. “You just broke up with Roy. Like a day ago.” He looks away. “We don’t have to do this now.”

“I want to do this now,” she protests.

His hands hold her in place as she tries to lean forward and wrap herself back around him. “I want you,” he says.

“I want you, too,” Pam manages even though admitting it out loud makes her blush.

Jim meets her eyes. “No, I mean, I _want_ you. I wanna be with you. I can’t do this with you if we’ve just had too much wine and we’re fooling around.”

“Oh.” Pam bites her lip and when Jim looks like he wants to cry, she slides delicately off his lap into the space beside him.

They sit in silence for a moment, and he rakes his fingers through his hair, trying to restore it to order. “I’m in love with you,” he says finally.

It’s out there now and neither of them knows quite what to do with it. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Pam says at length.

He shrugs and wipes his hand across his eyes. “I wanted to… I tried. It just never seemed right.”

“Maybe it’s right now,” she offers and when he looks up he sees her tentative smile. She reaches across his leg to take his hand. “And I didn’t drink that much wine.”

Jim barks out a little incredulous laugh and then turns sideways on the couch. She finds herself on her back on the couch after he all but tackles her down. Their legs tangle awkwardly and she laughs as they straighten themselves out. Finally Jim’s propped on his elbows, looking down at her. It’s too far away and she snakes her around his back, tugging until he lays right on her. His hands cup her cheeks and he kisses her again. She thinks that she’s maybe in love with him too.

She’s never really thought of herself as a sexual person. She likes it okay, but she’s never felt this tightening in her stomach or this ache between her thighs that makes her almost beg for Jim to touch her. They’re still wearing all their clothes and she has no idea why. So she hooks her fingers under the bottom of his shirt and pulls up insistently. Once it reaches his arms, Jim stops kissing her long enough to yank it the rest of the way over his head.

“What?” He chuckles nervously, when he sees that she’s staring at him.

“Nothing.” It’s just that she’s looking at Jim Halpert half naked and on top of her. He’s slim and sinewy and her eyes are following that little line of hair trickling down from his belly button to disappear under his pants.

He tries to get comfortable on top of her again, but his knee is sinking in the crease between the cushions and he’s off balance. “Did you wanna go to my room?” He asks, eyebrows raised.

“Your room?” She repeats stupidly. “Oh. Umm, yeah. Let’s do that.”

He smiles gently and she relaxes. He’s got the same Jim smile he always has. “We can stay out here,” he tells her.

“No.” She wants to go to his room. It’s only been a few weeks since she first saw his bedroom but it feels like they’re different people as they shuffle in and Jim closes the door behind them. He flips on a small bedside lamp and the shadows recede. When he holds his hand out to her, Pam takes it without hesitation.

They undress each other slowly, eyes eagerly drinking in each new body part that’s been carefully revealed. Pam crosses her arms across her breasts when Jim stares. “No,” he says softly, pulling her arms away. “Let me see you.” She fidgets uncomfortably but he exhales hard and tells her, “You’re so beautiful, Pam.”

He grasps her arms and pulls her onto the bed, lying down beside her. His hands caress her everywhere and she feels lightheaded. She loves the way Jim moves under her hands. His muscles undulate and twitch in the wake of her fingers. His erection pushes against her thigh when he leans in to kiss her neck. Pam reaches tentatively for him and he groans her name against her neck. Jim’s palm slides down her stomach stopping just above the apex of her thighs. “Tell me what you like,” he murmurs as his palm cups her, fingers poised to touch her throbbing body.

She bites her lip, feeling her cheeks flush with embarrassment.

“Pam?” Jim whispers.

She takes his hand and puts it where she wants it. “Mmm,” he purrs against her when his fingers dip into her wetness. She’s so ready, so excited she can’t really contain herself. She barely lasts the two minutes it takes her to come. After, Jim strokes up and down her torso, exploring different sections of her skin.

Pam rolls her head and sighs contentedly. She could fall asleep right here but the faint twitch of his cock against her hip commands her attention. She sits up and Jim looks puzzled. With a smile, she pushes him on his back and climbs astride him.

Jim doesn’t have time to protest or encourage her, because she’s grabbing him and lining up and guiding him inside her.

He squeezes his eyes closed hard and his hands find her hips. She starts to move and Jim says her name. It becomes a litany, Pam, Pam, Pam, Pam… He roams her back, her ass, grips her thighs and her knees and pulls her down to kiss him. He pants and she feels powerful in a way that’s thrilling. They’re looking at one another when he can’t hold back anymore. She loves the way his face contorts when he comes, pumping his hips into her hard and pressing her down on top of him. “Pam,” he says a final time as she drops down on his chest. His arms go around her, pulling her in tightly.

“Yeah,” she says and she feels so good it almost makes her sad because it took her whole life to feel this way.

“That was…”

“Good,” she offers.

“Amazing,” Jim corrects while he smoothes her damp hair over her neck.

Her limbs feel heavy and she starts to fall asleep on top of him. Jim doesn’t mind; he just holds her. She thinks about his voice earlier, when he said he loved her. The quiet truth and the pained uncertainty in it. In one day, her whole life has changed. It should be petrifying. But she pushes her face into Jim’s neck and he runs his fingers gently down her spine. She thinks about the teapot and the things Jim slipped inside. And she knows she’s gonna be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Safe sex is of the good, and you should definitely be doing that, not what I wrote here. Please use condoms. :) Hope you enjoyed. Comments always appreciated!


End file.
